Are you....
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Feeling like you're at your wits' end with your child/children?
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Feeling like parenting in general is triggering all sorts of your own "stuff"?
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Feeling confused about why your child behaves the way they do?
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Feeling like you've tried literally everything with no success?
Answering "yes" to any of the above questions doesn't make you a bad parent. You're here because you're a good one.
If your child's behaviors and/or your beliefs about who you are as a parent have started to take control of your mood, thoughts, or actions, it may be time to seek some extra support.
For many folks, the day-to-day reality of parenting is often not what they thought it would be. What appears "easy" for some parents feels completely overwhelming to others. This can cause feelings of anger, shame, fear, despair, confusion, and more.
It's hard to know what to do with these feelings when they arise. You might wonder, "What does it say about me as a parent if I have these feelings? Am I failing?" Short answer: no way.
There are a variety of reasons why parenting ends up being much harder than we could have ever anticipated. Working with Natalie can help you explore these reasons and get on the path to feeling more at ease.
Using Compassion-Focused Therapy, Collaborative Problem Solving, interventions inspired by ARC (Attachment, Regulation & Competency), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Natalie can work with you to uncover the root of what's causing your suffering in parenting and to help you to rediscover your joy.
Tula Therapy Believes...
There is no perfect parent.
There is no perfect parent, and thank goodness for that. Kids don't need a perfect parent, they need a "good enough" one. Kids need just one adult to see them in all of their imperfect glory and love them unconditionally anyway. In seeking parenting support, we'll look at your own attachment style and how that impacts how you relate to your children. We'll explore different parenting styles and learn how and why the way you communicate with your child makes such a big difference. None of the self-exploration is done in shame. Instead, the emphasis is building self-compassion and expanding the tools you have at the ready for when the sh%* hits the fan. Parenting is a doozy, and your village is here.
Kids do well if they can.
Collaborative Problem Solving is based on the above philosophy: kids do well if they can. The idea is that if a child is behaving in a way that is causing disruption in some way, it's because of a lack of skill, not a lack of will. This means that if a child had the skills required to follow through with expectations & directions, they would. If they don't have the skills, they simply can't.
The good news is, this is solvable! We can work together to learn what it looks like to use Collaborate Problem Solving in your home. Working alongside your child is the first step to restoring balance in your relationship.
Understanding childhood brain development is important.
These are children, not mini adults. When looking at a child's behavior, it's important to remember that a child's brain functions much differently than a fully developed adult brain. Unlike children, adults have a fully developed frontal lobe. This is the part of the brain that allows for making rational choices, problem solving, and practicing impulse control. Sometimes it's helpful to remember that we're the ones in the relationship with the ability to use these skills at the ready, not our kiddos. When we can get on our child's level and begin to understand them developmentally, it becomes easier to understand what their behavior may be communicating. This opens up the door to problem solving and disciplining in a way that respects their humanity and views them as humans doing the best they can with the tools they've got.